“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others…”
A lot of the trials and tribulations of adolescence can be attributed to teenage love. Seemingly insignificant, teenage love has the potential to turn out to be something everlasting or can end up being a nightmare of huge proportions.
As your child reaches adolescence, they will start to go through many stages of development, both physical and emotional and as a parent the teenage years can be one of the most challenging to have to deal with.
Realising that your teenager is involved in an unhealthy relationship can be one of the hardest things, simply because what the parent sees as control and isolation, the teen can see as love and attention from a caring boyfriend/girlfriend.
Abuse in teenage relationships is recognised when the teen begins to feel scared and controlled by what they perceive as a sometimes, loving partner. It is confusing for them because it seems that the relationship is loving, only when the abused teenager behaves in a certain way.
There is a sensation of walking on eggshells, not wanting to upset their boyfriend/girlfriend. Experts believe that nearly one in three teenagers, both boys and girls are a victim of abuse with a dating partner. Young women aged between 16 – 24 experience the highest rate of violence from someone they are dating. Many teens fail to report it or tell their parents. Some are ashamed or embarrassed. Some teenagers might not even realise that they are being abused.
The Types of Abuse A Teenager Can Experience:
- Text messaging
- Through social media
- The partner can insist on looking at their phone to see who they are messaging
- Making them do things on-line that they are not comfortable with
- Restricting friends, telling them where they can go, what to wear and who they can see
How to deal with your Teen’s controlling boy/girlfriend:
Talk to your Teen about what constitutes healthy relationships. List a few of the things you have seen their partner do and ask them how they feel about it. Take a gentle approach to avoid the teenager becoming defensive.
If you are a Teenager in a controlling relationship, please speak to an adult. There are many ways to reach out and many people around you who care. Feel free to get in contact with me so you can be signposted to the most appropriate source of help.
“The only people who get upset at you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none”