“Coercive control is not only about what the perpetrator does to the victim, it is also about what they take away from them”
The psychology behind coercive and controlling behaviour is a complex area of study that delves into various aspects of human behaviour, motivation and interpersonal dynamics. At its core, coercive and controlling behaviour involves manipulating, pressuring or forcing others to comply with one’s wishes or dictates, often at the expense of the target’s autonomy, well-being and rights. Understanding the psychological mechanisms that underpin such behaviours can shed light on both the perpetrators’ motivations and the impact on victims, offering pathways toward prevention, intervention and healing.
Psychological Roots of Coercive And Controlling Behaviour
- Need for Power and Control: Central to coercive and controlling behaviour is a deep-seated need for power and control. This need often stems from feelings of insecurity, inadequacy or vulnerability. By exerting control over others, individuals may seek to compensate for these feelings, creating a false sense of security and self-worth.
- Social Learning Theory: This theory suggests that people learn behaviour through observing and imitating others, especially during childhood. If an individual grew up in an environment where coercive and controlling behaviour was modelled by caregivers or significant others, they might learn to adopt these strategies as normal or effective ways to interact with others.
- Attachment Theory: Early relationships with caregivers can influence an individual’s attachment style, affecting how they relate to others in adulthood. Insecure attachment styles, such as anxious or avoidant attachment, can contribute to coercive and controlling behaviours as attempts to manage anxiety about abandonment or intimacy.
- Personality Factors: Certain personality traits, such as Narcissism, Psychopathy and Machiavellianism (often referred to collectively as “The Dark Triad”) are associated with a higher propensity for manipulative, coercive and controlling behaviour. These traits involve a lack of empathy, a focus on self-interest and a willingness to exploit others.
- Cultural and Societal Influences: Societal norms, cultural values and systemic inequalities can also play a role in shaping coercive and controlling behaviour. For example, patriarchal societal structures that emphasise male dominance can normalise and perpetuate controlling behaviours towards women.
Impact on Victims And Relationships
The impact of coercion and control on victims and their relationships is profound, affecting individuals on emotional, psychological, physical and social levels. Coercive and controlling behaviour is a form of abuse that can leave lasting scars, undermining the victim’s autonomy, self-esteem and overall well-being. Understanding the depth of this impact is crucial for recognising the seriousness of such behaviour and for supporting those who are affected.
Psychological and Emotional Impact
- Loss of Autonomy and Self-Esteem: Victims of coercion and control often experience a significant loss of autonomy and self-esteem. The constant undermining of their decisions, preferences and needs can lead to feelings of worthlessness and helplessness, eroding their sense of self and confidence.
- Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): The persistent stress and fear induced by coercive and controlling behaviour can result in trauma and in some cases, PTSD. Victims may experience flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety and uncontrollable thoughts about the abuse.
- Depression and Anxiety: The emotional toll of living under constant control and coercion often manifests as depression and anxiety. Victims may feel hopeless about their situation, experiencing pervasive sadness, loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities and intense, ongoing anxiety about their safety and well-being.
- Isolation: Coercive and controlling individuals often isolate their victims from friends, family, and support networks as a means to exert control. This isolation can intensify feelings of loneliness and despair, making it more difficult for victims to reach out for help or escape the abusive situation.
Physical Health Impact
- Stress-Related Illnesses: The chronic stress associated with coercive control can lead to a range of physical health problems, including headaches, gastrointestinal issues, chronic pain and exacerbated pre-existing health conditions. The body’s stress response can also weaken the immune system, making victims more susceptible to infections and illnesses.
- Substance Abuse: Some victims may turn to alcohol, drugs or prescription medications as a way to cope with the emotional pain and stress. This can lead to substance abuse disorders, further complicating their health and well-being.
Impact on Relationships
- Deterioration of Trust and Intimacy: Coercive and controlling behaviour severely damages trust and intimacy within a relationship. The victim may find it difficult to trust their partner or others, impacting their ability to form close, healthy relationships in the future.
- Conflict and Instability: Relationships characterised by coercion and control are often marked by conflict, instability and fear. This can create a volatile environment, not just for the partners involved, but also for children or other family members who may witness or experience the abuse.
- Impact on Children: Children who grow up in environments where coercive control is present are at risk of emotional and psychological harm. They may exhibit behavioural problems, struggle with emotional regulation and have difficulties in their own relationships. Witnessing such dynamics can also perpetuate a cycle of abuse, as children may learn and internalise these behaviours as normal.
Social and Economic Impact
- Economic Abuse: Coercion and control often extend to economic abuse, where the abuser restricts the victim’s access to financial resources, limiting their ability to leave the situation or to be independent. Economic abuse can leave victims financially unstable and dependent on their abuser.
- Social Isolation: The isolation imposed by the abuser can sever social connections and support networks, making it challenging for victims to maintain friendships or professional relationships. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and trap victims in the abusive situation. Understanding the impact of coercion and control on victims and relationships underscores the need for comprehensive support and intervention strategies. Recognising the signs of coercive control, offering empathetic support and providing resources for escape and recovery are critical steps in helping victims heal and rebuild their lives.
Addressing Coercive And Controlling Behaviour
- Awareness and Education: Raising awareness about the signs and impact of coercive and controlling behaviour is crucial for prevention and intervention. Education can empower individuals to recognize unhealthy patterns in their own and others’ behaviour.
- Therapeutic Interventions: Therapy can be beneficial for both perpetrators and victims. For perpetrators, therapy may focus on addressing underlying psychological issues, developing empathy and learning healthy ways to relate to others. For victims, therapy can help in healing from trauma, rebuilding self-esteem and developing strategies to regain autonomy.
- Social Support and Resources: Providing victims with access to support networks, legal assistance, and resources can be critical in helping them escape from coercive and controlling situations. Community and societal support can also play a role in changing norms and behaviours that perpetuate control and coercion.
At the end of the day it is important to understand that the psychology behind coercive and controlling behaviour is a complicated subject rooted in a compound interplay of individual, relational and societal factors. Understanding these dynamics is key to addressing and mitigating the harm caused by such behaviours. Through awareness, education, therapeutic intervention and societal support, it is possible to foster healthier interpersonal dynamics and empower individuals to build relationships based on respect, empathy and equality.
“You may not be able to control someone else’s behaviour towards you, but you can learn to control how you will or will not accept it”