“Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it is the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable, that it’s almost breath-taking… And in that moment you feel as if you are a part of them…”
Sex and the ability to connect intimately is an important part of romantic relationships. Many people want to have a sexual connection with their romantic partner and sexual activity is a way to encourage bonding and can offer a wealth of benefits in a committed relationship.
The physical act during sexual activity emphasises the pleasure your body can give and receive. It can help increase your confidence, boost self-esteem and body positivity and this in turn gives you confidence in other areas of your life.
During sex and physical intimacy the hormone oxytocin is released which produces feelings of emotional connection and intimacy, deepening the bonds between the couple and creates feelings of closeness, emotional well-being and satisfaction.
Good sex can also help relieve stress. It releases endorphins which produce feelings of relaxation in the same way sexual satisfaction and having an orgasm can help you sleep better.
Understanding the ability to communicate your sexual desire is hugely important in any relationship. Building a connection with your partner by openly discussing what you enjoy sexually and what each of you are comfortable with, can help reduce nervousness or expectations in the bedroom. Talking honestly is essential for understanding your loved one’s sexual preferences and will encourage them to open up to you too. Discussing sex can be difficult for some people, because clearly it is a highly sensitive subject, so make sure that any conversation is held in privacy and in a moment where you are both feeling relaxed.
“The deepest moments of intimacy occur when you are not talking…”
We are all aware that it seems that sex is more important to men, while being romanced is something that many women prefer as a prelude to sexual intimacy, but we don’t often understand the reasons why. There is a need to facilitate a deeper understanding as to some of the reasons why some men seem to only want sex.
Based on historical development and social conditioning, sexual arousal in men is key to helping them connect to their feelings. When a man has sex, it allows him to experience both feelings of tenderness and opens his heart with an ability to love. It is through sex that a man can feel his need for love and yet it is through receiving love a woman is able to feel her desire for sex.
When a man wants sex and his partner is not in the mood he feels rejected, yet he doesn’t understand that she needs to feel loved and romanced first to be in the mood for sex, while she doesn’t understand he needs to have sex to connect to his ability to love. This is where there is a huge misunderstanding in communication surrounding the issues of sex between partners.
When sex and the connection develops further, the whole relationship gets better, hence why date nights are important to recreate throughout the relationship especially when the relationship is experiencing problems.
Great sex is the most powerful way to open a man’s heart and help him feel love for his woman, while great sex softens a woman’s heart, helping her to relax and be open to her partner’s support in other areas of her life.
Try to find ways to approach communication about sex. It is important to understand psychological differences between men and women. Through discussion you can find out what each of you need, what works for you both and how best to reach that satisfaction. The object is to find sexual fulfilment both physically and emotionally. Some ways could include:
- Making time to do something meaningful to both of you
- Set aside a special time for date nights
- Be curious about the importance of sex in the relationship
- Invest in yourself so you can be the best version of who you are
- Be brave in your communication, not aggressive
- Suggest reading some books together to gain more knowledge
- Be open to watching stimulating material to find ways to learn
- Be open to trying new positions
- Always focus on being affectionate
- Allow the sexual tension to build
- Understand the three C’s of intimacy: Communication, Compromise and Commitment
“Intimacy is not purely physical. It is the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel you can see into their soul…”