“The foundation of a healthy brain is kindness… It requires the ability to not only think about yourself but also about others” Richard Davidson
Research has found that people who are kind hearted tend to have a higher self esteem and a sense of self-efficacy. They also experienced less depression and anxiety and had improved physical health. The word kindness goes back to Old English times and has roots in the work ‘Kin’ as in one’s family or relation.
Kindness is more than just being nice. It is a natural tendency and is a type of behaviour that is marked by acts of generosity and consideration, as well as rendering assistance and concern for others without expecting praise or reward in return.
Kindness is love. What does it mean to love someone? It means being selfless, patient, tender and gracious. We share love with others through kind gestures, a smile, a thoughtful deed, or planning a surprise. We offer kindness to make others feel good. It increases caring and compassion, promotes empathy, reduces blood pressure and stress levels and allows people to live in a more balanced way.
In today’s rushed and hectic world, kindness is a trait that is increasingly rare. There are some people who are naturally kind and have a tendency to automatically think of others without even realising it.
Are you consciously kind-hearted? Does being kind come instinctively to you?
Here are some traits that will answer those questions:
They give people their full attention. Kind people will turn their full attention on the other person and actively listen when they are talking. They won’t be fidgeting, checking their phone, or looking around the room trying to find something else more stimulating when the other person is talking. Many people listen only with an intent to respond. That is, they won’t be listening to what the other person has to say, because they will be too busy preparing their own response in their head. Inattentive listening is rude. If you are a naturally kind person, people will always feel satisfied and comforted whenever they talk to you and will feel at ease in your presence.
Kind people have a positive outlook. They speak positively and don’t say negative or hurtful things about anyone. They don’t spend their time complaining or gossiping about other people. They can sense when an atmosphere is uncomfortable and they try to diffuse it, creating peace and harmony. Spreading positivity reduces stress and kind people will be able to encourage compromise and offer support in reducing tension in a situation.
They remember the small details in things. This comes about because of their huge capacity to pay attention to what matters for others. Kind people have a talent for remembering the little important details in other people. They remember birthdays, a favourite food, a family member who has been ill. They go over and above to make a difference in someone’s life.
They notice the needs of others. They have precise observational skills that allows them to recognise when a person might need help and have an ability to give generously with their time. Kind people don’t have to work hard at caring about others or being nice because that is naturally who they are. They are thoughtful and helpful and show compassion. They are the ones who offer you a lift when your car is broken, water your plants when you are away on holiday and bring you a plate of food if you are too sick to cook for yourself. Kindness can be cultivated by putting other person’s needs before your own.
Kind people break down barriers and make everyone feel included. They forgive easily and rather than continue arguing they will prefer to walk away from a fight. They are honest but not brutally or in a mean-spirited way and will never be passive-aggressive. They have integrity and trust others, always happy to give the benefit of the doubt and take people at face value until proven otherwise. Kind people are always open to meeting new people and they embrace the differences in cultures and personalities. By practicing forgiveness you can cultivate graciousness and become kinder by not holding onto grudges or hide behind untruths.
Kind people give sincere compliments easily. They are always happy to share in the joy of others fortunes and have no problems raising another person up. Kind people express gratitude and praise recognising that when you make another person feel good about themselves they are helping to establish a cycle of positive reinforcement. Never underestimate the impact that kind words can have on someone. The instinct of kindness is rooted in a person’s capacity for empathy and a desire to keep relationships harmonious.
Kind people love wholeheartedly. They share what they have with abundance, whether it is resources, time, food or love. They have goodwill and a sense of responsibility in always trying to make the other person’s life better. They have a high degree of awareness and are viewed by others as having a ‘heart of gold’.
If you can practice the art of kindness you will be harbouring a spirit of helpfulness as well as being generous, loving and considerate without expecting anything in return. Do you recognise yourself here? Being kind creates a ripple effect. Believing in positive actions, generosity and goodwill to others, will in turn encourage others to do the same, contributing to a much more positive community.
“Kindness is about seeing the best in others when they cannot see it themselves, because being kind is something you can give, without losing anything of yourself. Kindness is not what you do, but who you are”